No Secrets for Evermore
by Plainclothes cop
Summary: Sequel to "Mike Stan Lee the Last."  Lily finds out Miley lied to her about what happened at the party 5 months ago, and all this time she's been keeping a hurtful secret from her!  Can Lily ever forgive her?


**In depth plot summary: Lily finds out Miley lied to her about what happened at the Hollywood party 5 months ago! Lily gets so upset that she dumps Miley and starts avoiding her. Heart broken as well, Miley constantly persues Lily and begs her for forgiveness. And Oliver? He gets caught in the middle! Can the worst thing that can happen between three lovers possibly be healed? Come join me in the FINAL EPISODE of my Hannah Montana fanfic saga!**

**Disclaimer: The document you are about to read is a parody. The writer of the document is not associated with Hannah Montana or Disney channel in any way. Little or none of the content of this fanfic is from any episode of the show. Also please note that none of the content of this fanfic reflects the opinions or views of any actual person portrayed herein. Anyway, IT'S JUST A FANTASY!**

There was a a big celebrity party going on in San Diego. Hannah Montana, Lola Luftnangle, and Mike Stan Lee III were dancing on a dance floor with music playing. Hannah was dancing with Mike, and Lola was dancing with one of the girls. Hannah and Mike stopped dancing briefly to kiss and brush their tongues together. Lola stopped dancing with the one girl briefly, but when she moved in for a kiss, the girl dodged her, then _slapped _her! The girl left Lola as Lola rubbed her cheek. "Ow...that hurt!" said Lola sadly.

Suddenly, Lola heard a girl's voice yell "LOLA LUFTNANGLE! LOLA LUFTNANGLE!"

Lola turned in the direction of the voice and saw another girl running up to her! Lola smiled. "_Yeeeees, _crazed fan?" said Lola eagerly.

"_I'll _kiss you!" said the girl willingly.

"Yeeeep!" Lola exclaimed. With that, Lola and this new girl started kissing.

As Hannah and Mike continued dancing, a guy suddenly tapped Mike on the shoulder. "Uh, excuse me, Mike," said the guy somewhat nervously. Mike stopped dancing with Hannah and looked at the guy. "You mind if I cut in?" asked the guy. "I really want to dance with Hannah!"

"Sure!" said Mike. "We're all playas' here!" Hannah Laughed. Hannah and the new guy started dancing, and they ultimately ended up kissing!

After dancing with the first anonymous guy for a while, Hannah walked up to a guy who wasn't dancing at all (he was talking to someone), turned him around, and kissed him! The guy was startled at first, but then he gladly returned the kiss. "OH MY GOD!" said the guy after the kiss parted. "Hannah Montana made a first move on me! This is so awesome!" Hannah laughed. At the same time, Mike was dancing with another girl. He kissed her and grabbed her ass. Lola soon danced with another girl too, and she kissed her while squeezing her boobs! Pretty soon, Hannah started going for the girls as well. She danced with a girl and kissed her! Throughout the song, Hannah, Lola, and Mike kissed and grabbed a bunch more people.

Finally, the song was over, and everybody on the dance floor cheered. "WOOOOOO!" cheered Hannah when she reunited with Lola and Mike. "We're on fire tonight! Takin' a walk on the wild side!"

"I can't believe I broke my record for the number of girls I've kissed in an hour!" said Mike exitedly.

Hannah put her hand on Mike's shoulder. "We all did, Mike," said Hannah. "We all did." Suddenly, Lola started panting, fanning her mouth, and doing panicky groveling. "Lola, are you OK?" asked Hannah.

"My mouth!" panicked Lola. "It's burning!" Lola's painful expression turned into a smile. "I kissed so many girls, my mouth is on fire!" said Lola still fanning her mouth. Then Lola was slowly, happily hyperventilating. Hannah was starting to get annoyed, so, she _slapped _Lola! Lola shook her nerves out. "Thanks, Hannah," said Lola with a smile. "I needed that."

"I don't know about you guys," said Hannah. "But I'm awfully hot."

"You just said a mouthful, Annahhay Ontanamay!" flirted Mike pointing both his fingers at Hannah.

Hannah laughed. "Let's go have some punch" said Hannah. The three of them headed towards a table that had punch on it. Halfway there, Hannah saw something across the room that sent a sudden wave of fear through her heart. Right across the room, she saw none other than..._ASHLEY TISDALE!_ Oh no, this was bad. Hannah had met Ashley Tisdale before, and she had sex with her and Jake Ryan at the same time five months ago. As Miley Stewart, when Lily asked her what happened at the party where she met Ashley that night, she totally lied to her! Miley/Hannah had sex with Ashley _before Lily._ She had known Lily for years, but she only knew Ashley for one night. Miley was afraid Lily would feel like Miley liked Ashley more than Lily because of that. Miley had kept this a secret for five months now, and during this time, she had guilt eating away at her heart! She was still afraid to tell Lily the truth to this day, and now, Hannah and Lola were right in the line of sight of Ashley! She didn't know how, but Hannah had to avoid Ashley Tisdale! If Ashley started talking to Hannah and her posse, Lola would find out! The hard part was, keeping Lola and Mike away from Ashley without telling them why!

Thinking quickly, Hannah grabbed hold of Lola and Mike and lured them in the other direction. "On second thought," said Hannah. "I'm really more in the mood for Mountain Dew!"

"But, Mountain Dew gives you bad breath" said Lola.

"Oh, come on, Lola!" said Hannah sheepishly. "You just kissed...how many girls? And you're still not satisfied? Don't be such a pig!"

"Wait, are you saying _I'm _a pig?" asked Mike feeling offended.

"Oh no, you're really more of a _tiger! Reeooowww!" _flirted Hannah making an intimate cat meow.

They reached a table that had Mountain Dew, and Lola was about to open a can when she turned around, and SCREAMED! "AAAAGGGGHHHHH! ASHLEY TISDALE!" screamed Lola with joy.

Hannah smacked her forehead in dismay. Mike turned around. "OH MY GOD!" screamed Mike. "IT REALLY IS HER! YEEEAAAHHH!"

Lola and Mike started to run towards Ashley, but then Hannah grabbed them. Lola and Mike both struggled to get loose, helplessly focused on Ashley Tisdale. "Guys! Guys!" said Hannah sheepishly. "Give the girl some space! I'm sure the reason stars come to parties like this is to get away from crazed fans!"

Mike stopped struggling and turned to Hannah. "Hannah, _she's one of us!"_ said Mike. "Haven't you ever heard of 'Celebrities who love celebrities'?" In the process of listening to Mike, Hannah lost her grip on Lola, and Lola ran towards Ashley and screamed!

"_No!" _Hannah exclaimed.

Lola ran up to Ashley and gave her a long, rough kiss. Ashley was startled at first, but then she gladly accepted the kiss. "Oh my god!" said Lola. "Ashley, ever since I became a lesbian, I've been wanting to meet you so badly!"

Ashley gasped. "You're Lola Luftnangle! AAAGGGGHHH!" Ashley exclaimed. "Lola, I am a huge fan of 'Hannah Montana, Livin' the Rockstar Life'! I love the way you, Hannah, and Mike interact with each other!"

"AWWWWW!" said Lola. "And Ashley, I've been a big fan of your show ever since _before _I became a lesbian!"

"AWWWWW!" said Ashley. "So you love me no matter what your sexuality is!" Ashley and Lola hugged and cooed over each other briefly.

Meanwhile, from a distance, Hannah and Mike were still talking. "Hannah, what's the big deal?" asked Mike feeling concerned. "Lola and I are huge Ashley Tisdale fans! Can't you just let us enjoy this?"

Hannah frowned as if she were scared. "Mike," said Hannah. "There's something I need to tell you that I haven't told Lola yet either."

"What is it?" asked Mike. Hannah started whispering into Mike's ear. Mike's eyes widened in dismay as she spoke.

At the same time, Lola was still talking to Ashley. "Wow," said Lola. "Your boobs are even bigger in person!" Ashley laughed. "_Can I touch theeeeeeem?"_ said Lola sweetly stretching out the last word.

Ashley smiled. "Only if you let me touch yours!" flirted Ashley.

"YEEEEEEEEP!" Lola exclaimed. With that, Lola and Ashley started squeezing each other's boobs.

From a distance, Hannah finished whispering to Mike. Mike looked half shocked, half concerned. "Well good god, Hannah!" said Mike. "If you were so scared to tell Lola, you could have at least told _me!_ I'd've kept my mouth shut!"

Hannah closed in on Mike, put one hand on his head, and the other hand on his chin. "You couldn't even keep your mouth shut about Sarah making more money than Amber and Ashley during that charity fund raiser!" whispered Hannah sternly.

Mike pushed Hannah's hands off of him and closed in on Hannah. "I've been keeping your identity secret, haven't I?" whispered Mike.

Hannah looked away from Mike and frowned. "Oh, who am I kidding?" said Hannah. "This is all my fault!"

"So..." said Mike concerned. "What are you going to do?"

Suddenly, Ashley Tisdale and Lola came up to them. "HANNAH!" said Ashley happily as she opened up her arms.

Hannah coiled herself from Ashley and said "Sweet niblets!" Ashley put her arms around Hannah briefly and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Oh my god, Hannah!" said Ashley. "It's so nice to see you! I haven't seen you since that one night at the hotel!"

"_Huh?" _said Lola skeptically.

"Uh, _celebrity I've never met say what?"_ said Hannah painfully.

"Come on, Hannah," said Ashley. "Quit kidding around. It was so awesome being with you and Jake Ryan at the same time!"

Lola gasped offendedly and looked at Hannah. "You had sex with Ashley Tisdale and you didn't _tell _me?" said Lola starting to get mad.

Mike leaned toward Lola. "Not to mention Jake Ryan" said Mike. Hannah hit Mike in the stomach.

"Why did you just leave us without saying goodbye?" asked Ashley. "You know, it doesn't pay to be a runaway lover" said Ashley with her index finger up.

"Uh, hehe...Ashley," said Hannah sheepishly. "I have..._no idea...what you're talking about!"_ said Hannah through clenched teeth as she gestured towards Lola.

"Ya' know," said Lola to Hannah. "Usually when someone says 'I don't know what you're talking about', _it means they're lying!"_

Ashley looked confused. "You mean..." said Ashley pointing at Lola. "Lola doesn't...oh God, this is awkward!"

Hannah sighed in defeat. She faced Lola. "All right, you caught me" said Hannah sadly. "I had sex with Ashley Tisdale."

"YOU _WHAT?" _Lola exclaimed. "I thought you were my girlfriend! I thought we told each other everything!"

Ashley put her face in between Hannah and Lola. "Um, I'm just going to go over there" said Ashley pointing to another side of the room. "Clearly this is none of my business." With that, Ashley left them.

Lola turned back to Hannah. "Hannah," said Lola. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I..." stuttered Hannah. "I thought you'd get jealous!"

There was a brief pause. "Come on, Hannah," said Lola. "I'm more mature than that. All three of us are more mature than that! We have a really complicated relationship. We like both relationships and a good time, so our relationship is about not being tied down to one person. I would've understood!"

"Oh...right!" said Hannah sheepishly. "Yeah, just because we're with other people doesn't mean we don't still love each other!"

"When did this happen?" asked Lola.

"Uh..." stated Hannah. Hannah hesitated. "Five months ago" said Hannah frowning with her teeth showing and her eyebrows slanted.

"Hmmm..." said Lola. "That's funny...that's around the time you and I started dating."

"Oh, well!" said Hannah with sheepish laughter. "You see, I was so happy...that I finally found a way to be attracted to both sexes, that...I wanted to explore a little more! So...one night, I went out...when you and Mike were busy...and...I had a little party!" There was a brief pause. "It's not like I had sex with Ashley Tisdale before you!" lied Hannah.

Lola could sense Hannah's motives very easily. Lola looked at Hannah straight in the eyes. "_Hannah..." _said Lola sternly.

Hannah squinted her eyes and clenched her teeth. "I had sex with Ashley Tisdale before you!" said Hannah frantically.

Lola made a shocked, sad expression. _"How could you?" _said Lola half tearful.

"Lola, I had sex with _you _the very next day!" said Hannah.

"_How could you?" _repeated Lola.

"Oh come on!" said Hannah. "I was just trying to have a little fun!"

"_HOW COULD YOU?"_ yelled Lola in tears.

"Lola!" said Mike butting in. "Calm down! Why are you so upset? The important thing is, you two are a happy couple, who have known each other for a long time, and have had sex with each other more times than you've had sex with anyone else!" Mike's voice then shifted into cockiness. "With the exception of me, of course" said Mike tugging on his jacket. Then he started raping.

"_Say what?_

_Say what?_

_Say-..."_

"MIKE!" shouted Hannah. "Not now!"

"So tell me, Hannah," said Lola tearfully. "What is it...about Ashley Tisdale...that you love more than me? Is it her face? Her bigger boobs? Her thicker legs? Her height? _What? What is it?"_

"Come on, Lola!" said Hannah. "I'm not that shallow! You know me better than that!"

"Yeah, and _you know me _better than Ashley Tisdale!" cried Lola.

"Oh boy..." said Mike in dismay.

"Well..." said Hannah sheepishly. "I'm a huge Ashley Tisdale fan, and...it's amazing how much you can learn about a celebrity by studying her lyrics and watching her on T.V.!"

There was a brief pause. "Hannah," said Lola. "I never thought this day would come, but...WE'RE THROUGH! It's over!" Hannah and Mike both made shocked, sad expressions. Lola sniffed and closed in on Hannah. "And I mean that for _Miley _too!" said Lola.

Lola ran away crying. "Lola! Wait!" pleaded Hannah as she chased after Lola. Mike watched sadly as they both disappeared out of the room.

That night, at the Stewart house, Miley was crying on her bed, very loud. Loud enough that it drew attention to Robbie Ray and Jackson, who were now standing in the upstairs hall. "Gee, what's wrong with Miley?" asked Jackson in a serious tone. "She's been cryin' ever since she came in."

"I've heard her cry before in her teen years, but usually she cried in a goofy tone as an advanced way ta' complain about somethin'" said Robbie Ray in a quiet, serious tone. "Sweet mercy, when you hear her cry like _that, _you know there's somethin' seriously wrong."

"Well, whydoncha' try talkin' to her?" suggested Jackson.

"She talked to me about her problems last month," said Robbie Ray. "But here's the thang'; about two months ago, I could tell somethin' was botherin' her, but she didn't say nothin' about it. I reckoned it was somethin' about her personal life she didn't want me ta' know, so, I didn't ask. She never gave me a straight answer, all she gave me was a few hints. Idunno' exactly how she's gonna' act now."

"Well, come on," said Jackson. "Ya' hafta' at least try."

Robbie Ray turned to Miley's room. "I can try talkin' to her," said Robbie Ray. "But there's no guarantee I'll figure out exactly what she's so upset about."

Just as Robbie Ray was about to knock, Miley suddenly cried out "_LILY!"_

Robbie Ray paused. "Well, I guess that answers your question!" said Jackson with a grin.

Robbie Ray knocked on Miley's door. Miley stopped crying. "_Yeeeeeeeees?"_ called Miley tearfully.

"Bud, what's wrong?" said Robbie Ray concerned.

"Come in and I'll tell you!" cried Miley.

Robbie Ray exhaled. "That's a relief" said Robbie Ray quietly.

Robbie Ray came into Miley's room, shut the door, and sat on her bed as Miley repositioned herself to make room for him. "Daddy," said Miley. "Have you ever kept a secret from someone other than your family for a long time? And then one day, that person found out and got really upset at you?"

"Why, yes I have" said Robbie Ray. "And, I'm guessin' you kept a secret from Lily."

"How did you know?" asked Miley.

"Well," said Robbie Ray. "I know you haven't always been that popular as Miley Stewart, so to keep a secret from someone for a long time, I reckoned it had to be either Lily or Oliver. So, it was just a lucky guess." There was a brief pause. "That," said Robbie Ray. "And when I heardja' cry out Lily's name out in the hall, I guess that sorta' tipped me off."

"So...who have you kept a secret from?" Miley asked.

There was a pause. "Before I met your mamma'," said Robbie Ray. "I had a girlfriend. Her name was Leah Pesquinelli. I was just beginin' ta' persue my music career. I was gonna' go on tour with the guys, and I told Leah I would always love her. While I was on tour, I started to get lonely. So, I ended up bein' with another girl. It's not that I didn't still love Leah, I was just tryin' ta' have a little fun." Robbie Ray paused. "One day, Leah found out, and that's how we broke up."

"Daddy..." said Miley. "That is very similar to my situation with Lily."

Robbie Ray smiled. "Well I'll be damned" said Robbie Ray. "Ya' know, there's an old sayin' that says 'Like father like son'."

Miley made a disgusted face. "What does Jackson have to do with this?" asked Miley drying her tears.

"Nothin'," said Robbie Ray. "I'm just sayin', I guess it can work both ways too. Like father like daughter."

Miley gave Robbie Ray a forced, sad smile. There was another pause. "Do you know what it's like to loose one of the most important people in your life?" asked Miley.

"Why, sure I do" said Robbie Ray. "Howdaya' think I felt when your mamma died?"

"_Hoh!" _wept Miley quietly as she and Robbie Ray hugged. "I wish mom were here right now. She might know what to say."

"I do too, bud" said Robbie Ray after the hug parted. "Since mamma was a woman, she'd probably be better at this than me. With you havin' a same sex relationship with Lily, she might know more about havin' feelins' for the same sex. I wouldn't know, 'cuz' I never had that."

Miley made another disgusted face. "I sure would hope not!" said Miley.

"So how did this happen?" asked Robbie Ray. "Why did Lily dump you?"

"She found out that I had sex with another girl before we became a couple" said Miley sadly.

"Who dat'?" asked Robbie Ray. "Joanie? Lisa?"

"Actually it was...Ashley Tisdale" said Miley.

Robbie Ray whistled seriously and said "She is some _big _competition."

"I met her as Hannah Montana" said Miley. "And for five months, I've been so scared to tell Lilly. I was afraid she would feel like I love Ashley Tisdale more than her. After all, I've known Lily for years, but technically, I only knew Ashley for one night."

Robbie Ray buried his face in his hand. "Oh mah' god" said Robbie Ray. "I can't believe mah' little girl has one night stands."

"Well _you _had a one night stand with that one girl on tour!" Miley pointed out.

"Hold up, Miles," said Robbie Ray with sheepish laughter. "I didn't tell ya' how long I knew her! Howdaya' know I didn't know her for a week?" Miley glared at Robbie Ray. "Uh...five days?" said Robbie Ray. Miley glared at Robbie Ray and crossed her arms. Robbie Ray sighed in defeat and looked to the side. "All right, it was a one night stand" admitted Robbie Ray. There was a brief pause. "So," said Robbie Ray. "Ya' kept a secret from Lily and she found out."

"Yeah," said Miley. "At first she was just upset because I didn't tell her, but when she found out I had sex with Ashley Tisdale before her, she took it exactly how I feared."

"Well, if it happened before you and Lily were datin'," Robbie Ray stated. "I dunno', I kinda' think she's takin' it a little too seriously. I used to fool around with lotsa' ladies before I met your mamma'. Then when I finally did, I realized she was the right one, so we waited until we were married ta' make love."

Miley made a disgusted face. "Do me a favor and don't give me the details!" said Miley with her hands in front of her.

"Frankly," said Robbie Ray. "I know a lotta' married men who did it that way. They spend a long time playin' around, then when they finally meet the woman they wanna' spend the rest of their lives with, they save it for somethin' special."

"Yeah..." said Miley regaining comfort. "When I had sex with Ashley Tisdale, I was just playing around. But since I was very close to Lily, when I had sex with her...it felt so much more special." There was a brief pause. "Thanks, dad" said Miley giving her dad a hug.

Robbie Ray smiled. "So," said Robbie Ray after the hug parted. "You gon' tell that ta' Lily?"

Miley hesitated. "Well..." said Miley feeling uneasy. "I'll try."

The next day, which was Sunday, Lily was in her room, doing her homework. But she was having trouble concentrating. Her mind was somewhere else. Wait, no, her _heart _was somewhere else. She was totally heart broken. She couldn't get Miley out of her head. Lily found herself looking at the pictures of her and Miley together on the wall, across the room. She had dumped Miley, but there was a part of her that didn't let her throw the pictures away. Because, what if she and Miley got back together? She couldn't replace sentimental value. Lily reached for the pictures with a sad, desperate look as if she were reaching for Miley's love. But then she just growled at them angrily. With that, she tore off a sheet of paper from her notebook, crumpled it up, and threw it across the room, right at the pictures.

Just as Lily started to get back to her homework, her cell phone rang. Lily checked the caller I.D. and saw that it was Oliver. Lily answered the call. "Hi, Oliver" said Lily sadly.

"Lily, Miley tried to call you earlier today, but you didn't answer" said Oliver. "Are you ignoring her?"

"Maybe..." said Lily half angry.

"Come on, Lily, this is ridiculous" said Oliver. "Can't you just forgive her?"

"Oliver, you don't understand," said Lily sadly. "She broke my heart."

"Just because she hooked up with one girl before you just once?" asked Oliver. "She's hooked up with _you..._how many times?"

"Her having sex with another girl before me just shows how heartless she is!" said Lily pacing around her room. "It's like she likes her more than me! I mean, we have a long history of friendship, and she never hooked up with me before! Miley meets Ashley Tisdale for _one night_, and gets jiggy with her! _That makes no sense!"_

"Well, gee," said Oliver. "You treated _me _the same way with Dex and Troy!"

"Oliver, I'm a lesbian" said Lily. "It's a little hard to understand when you haven't had feelings for the same sex." There was a brief pause. "You haven't had feelings for the same sex...have you?" confirmed Lily.

"Uuuhhh, does watching young girl on older man porn count?" asked Oliver.

"No" said Lily annoyed.

"Well seriously, Lily," stated Oliver. "What does that have to do with anything? I think you're being very immature. What ever happened to not being tied down to one person?"

"It's not what Miley did that hurt me," said Lily seriously. "It's _why _and_ when _she did it."

There was a brief pause. "Lily," said Oliver. "I need to ask you something."

"What?" said Lily in a snotty tone.

"How...upset...at Miley...are you...exactly?" asked Oliver pausing between words.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Lily.

"Well, I mean..." stated Oliver. "You weren't thinking about...you know..._telling her secret,_ were you?"

Before Lily could answer, she heard a strange, loud voice outside. Lily went up to her window, and saw Miley outside. "Um, I'm sorry, Oliver," said Lily. "I've got to go. Miley is outside my house, and she's doing something weird."

Lily hung up before Oliver could answer her. She put her phone down, opened the window, and stuck her head out. There was Miley, standing on the front lawn, singing a Hannah Montana song. But to conceal her identity, she was singing off key.

"_We sent our cards and letters, BFF's_

_You got a Million ways to make me laugh_

_You're looking out for me, you got my back_

_So good to have your around_

_You know the secrets I could never tell_

_And when I'm quiet you break through my shell_

_Don't feel the need to do a rebel yell_

_'Cause you keep my feet on the ground_

_You're a true-ue-ue-ue friend_

_You're here 'till the end_

_You pull me aside when somethin' 'aint' right_

_Comfort me now and into the night_

_'Till it's all right again_

_Your true friend"_

Lily wasn't impressed. "You do know you're singing off key?" confirmed Lily.

"Hey, not _everyone _can be Hannah Montana!" said Miley making sure the neighbors heard it. With that, she winked at Lily.

"Don't you wink at me!" snapped Lily. "Our playful little games are over!"

That hurt Miley. "Uh, Lily, you said that a little too loud!" said Miley concerned about her secret.

Lily cupped her hands over her mouth and shouted "HEY EVERYBODY! MILEY JUST WINKED AT ME!" Miley was scared! She looked at a couple of people who were outside. They ignored Lily. "See? Nobody cares!" said Lily.

"Maybe not," said Miley. "But I care about you, Lily. I love you."

"Yeah, well, love has a way of not working out!" said Lily.

"Oh, come on, Lily!" called Miley. "Don't tell me you felt closer as just friends! You're more mature than that! Most people don't realize how lucky they are!"

"Well, gee," said Lily. "Just friends? That's what the song you just sang was about!"

Miley thought for a moment. She then started singing again. She sang the same melody, but altered the words.

"_We sleep together makin' lezzie love_

_I lick your pussy and you really squirt_

_You pull my bra off like a dream come true_

_You always drive me crazy"_

Lily growled in anger. "Are you kidding me?" shouted Lily. "It doesn't even rhyme!" With that, Lily slammed her window shut and went back to her homework.

Miley made a sad puppy face. _"But it was off the top of my head..."_ said Miley in a goofy, sad tone. Suddenly, the sky was full of clouds. There was a boom of thunder, and it started to rain. It rained all over Miley, creating a really depressing mood.

Miley had asked for forgiveness, and on top of her dad's advice, she tried to apologize in the most creative way possible. But so far, it hadn't gone well. She had lost Lily, and Lily was the most important girl in her life. Miley didn't know how, but she was going to get her girlfriend back if it was the last thing she ever did.

Later, Miley was on the beach with Oliver, sitting at a table, talking to him about Lily. "I can't believe it, Oliver" said Miley. "I lie to Lily, she gets upset. I tell her the truth, and she still gets upset. I try to apologize, and...I can hardly even get her attention."

"Let me tell you, Miley," said Oliver sadly. "I was pretty heart broken when Lily dumped you too. _I _don't want you two to break up! You're my love bunnies! And I've known you for so long. I've known you since before I was attracted to either of you. Before Lily became a lesbian. Before I knew you were Hannah Montana."

"Yeah..." said Miley as she stared off into space. "And Lily...she was with me through it all. Playing Patti cake, playing with Barbie dolls, talking about guys, shopping, manicures, pedicures, hair styling, her finding out I was Hannah Montana, concerts, interviews, meeting famous people, partying, running away from crazed fans..."

Oliver got a little annoyed. "Gee, it's almost like you remember her more than me" said Oliver. Miley playfully hit Oliver. Oliver's expression turned humorous. "Why didn't you just propose to her when you had the chance?" joked Oliver.

Miley laughed and put her arm around Oliver. "Well, I was thinking about proposing to _you!"_ joked Miley as she poked Oliver's stomach.

Oliver laughed. "Gee," joked Oliver scratching his chin. "I wonder if _threesome _marriages are legal!"

Miley laughed as she hugged Oliver. "No way," joked Miley. "Think of all the extra, junk mail, credit card applications we'd have to throw away!" Miley and Oliver both laughed a while. When the laughter subsided, they were hugging, and Miley had her head buried in Oliver's chest. Their expressions went back to sad. "Oh, Oliver," said Miley. "You sure know how to make a girl feel better." With that, Miley and Oliver kissed for ten seconds.

"I swear, Oliver," said Miley. "You, Lily, and I were meant to be in each other's lives. We're like..._three little kittens."_

Jackson suddenly walked by. "Or the three little _pigs!" _dissed Jackson. Jackson made snorting noises with an idiotic facial expression. Miley snorted back at him with the same expression. They both did it like they were trying to intimidate each other. Jackson walked away towards Rico's.

"Lily is being way too oversensitive" said Oliver. "I mean, I've heard of people getting upset for their lovers cheating on them, but Lily is whining about something you did before you and her were even together."

"Yeah, I don't understand" said Miley sadly. "She didn't get upset at me for kissing Becka Weller, which was really spontaneous, I didn't get upset at her for kissing Bridget Mendler, it may have made you feel bad about yourself, but you didn't get upset at her for having sex with Dex and Troy, I didn't get upset at you for kissing Megan or Bridget Mendler, you didn't get upset at me for having sex with Gary Rightgow...and don't even get me started on all those people we kissed and grabbed at our last party!" Miley paused. "We've always had such a healthy relationship," said Miley. "So why is one of us heart broken all of a sudden?"

Suddenly, Lily arrived on the beach. She was barefoot with a surfboard. "Hey Oliver," said Lily energetically. "Want to go sur-...fing" said Lily when she noticed Miley.

"Uh," said Oliver standing up. "Yes, I'd love to."

"I'll go surfing too!" said Miley with frustrated enthusiasm.

Lily glared at Miley. "You don't surf" Lily pointed out.

"I don't skate either, but I'd go roller blading with you any day!" said Miley in a sad puppy voice.

"AWWWWWWW! Lily, how can you say 'no' to that sweet little face?" said Oliver in baby talk as he stroked Miley's face.

"Simple!" said Lily. "She said 'yes' to another girl's face!"

"Lily," said Miley half tearful. "Remember how we used to play with Barbie dolls when we were 11?"

Lily's angry expression turned into a weak, half shocked, half sad frown. She then started to have a flashback in her mind of when she and Miley were 11 years old. They were in Miley's bedroom, playing with Barbie dolls, complete with a house for them. Miley had Barbie sitting on a chair, talking on the phone. "I love you, Ken," said young Miley in the flashback, making Barbie talk. "You're the best boyfriend in the whole wide world! Say, would you like to come over? OK! I'll see you in 15 minutes! Buh bye!" Miley hung up the play phone. "OK, Lily," said Miley. "Make Ken come over!"

"Aw, why do I always have to be Ken?" complained young Lily.

"Well, Lily," said Miley. "You do kind of act like a boy."

"I guess you got me there" said Lily. With that, Lily took hold of a Ken doll, put him inside a toy car, and pushed it along the floor as she imitated the sound of a car. She stopped the car, opened the door, and made Ken walk out and up to the pink, doll house. Lily imitated the sound of a doorbell.

"He's here!" Miley exclaimed as she made Barbie jump up and down. "He's here!" Miley walked Barbie over to the front door, and at the same time, picked up a Skipper doll and made her talk. "Who's here? Who's here?" Miley made Skipper say. "It's Ken! I invited him over!" said Miley switching back to Barbie's voice. "Gee, Barbie, if I knew you were going to have company over, I would have made more food!" Miley walked Barbie up to the front door. But of course, she didn't use the real front door, because it was an opened up toy house. "Hi, snugglepuss!" said Miley. With that, Miley and Lily made Barbie and Ken kiss.

"Oh baby!" said Lily. "Your lips are hot!" Miley and Lily burst into laughter. "OK," said Miley. "Let's go to my concert!"

Lily was puzzled. "Concert?" said Lily. "What concert?"

"Get in the car and I'll tell you" said Miley. Miley and Lily put Barbie and Ken inside the toy car. Miley looked at Lily. "Sorry, I don't have a limo" said Miley. Miley pushed the toy car across the floor towards a Barbie accessory of an electronic concert stage. "Now, time to whip out..." said Miley as she reached across the floor. "ROCKSTAR BARBIE!" said Miley as she whipped out a Barbie doll with a different outfit, holding a guitar. Miley pushed a button that activated some music from the toy stage. She started moving Barbie's feet to simulate guitar playing.

"Yay!" cheered Lily.

This went on for two minutes. "You are such a lovely audience!" said Miley. "I love you, Los Angelas! I would like to dedicate this concert to my beloved boyfriend, Ken! Come on up here, Ken!"

"Awww!" said Lily as she made the Ken doll walk onto the stage. Lily made Ken wave to the pretend audience. "Oh, it feels so good to be dating a celebrity!" Lily made Ken say. Then, Miley and Lily made Barbie and Ken kiss again.

"The audience goes 'wooooooooooo!'" cheered Miley.

"You know, Miley," said Lily taking the Ken doll off the play stage and holding him causually. "There's something I don't understand."

"What's that?" asked Miley.

"If Barbie is a celebrity," stated Lily. "How can she just live in a normal house like this, and be with her friends and boyfriend all the time? My daddy tells me that celebrities live life on the road. They travel all over the country every week, and they can't go anywhere without a bunch of people crowding around them and screaming. There's no way she can live two lives."

"Well gee," said Miley. "_You _have two personalities! Sometimes you act like a girl, sometimes you act like a boy!"

"You don't understand, Miley," stated Lily. "It's just not realistic!"

"OK, first of all," said Miley. "Aren't we a little young to be thinking about realism?" Lily shrugged. "And, Lily," said Miley. "This is a very special Barbie. She has the ability to be a star, live the good life, and _still _live a normal life. I guess you can say she's got...the best of both worlds. Humor me, OK?"

"_Humor _you?" said Lily. "What's so funny about what you just said?"

"Not that kind of humor" said Miley. "It means, just pretend it's possible, OK?"

"OK" said Lily with a smile.

"Good," said Miley. "Now, kissy kissy!" With that, Miley and Lily made Barbie and Ken continue to kiss. As they did this, Miley and Lily made kissy faces at each other briefly, then they burst into laughter.

Finally, the flashback ended. Lily looked at Miley half shocked, half sad, as she reached out for Miley with her hand. Her hand vibrated briefly, then she stopped and shook her nerves out. "No!" said Lily angry again. "No no no! I'm not falling for that! You broke my heart, so I never want to-..." Lily turned nervous. "Um...um..." stuttered Lily not sure if she wanted to finish the sentence.

"Don't say it, Lily!" pleaded Miley. "Please don't say it!"

Lily hesitated. "Come on, Oliver," said Lily. "Let's go surfing."

Lily started walking towards the water. "But what about Miley?" asked Oliver.

"Just come on!" said Lily grabbing Oliver by the collar. Oliver screamed in pain briefly as she did this. Miley sadly watched them head towards the surfboard rental shack.

The next day, Miley was at school, by her locker, talking to Lisa. Miley had told Lisa about Lily dumping her. She told Lisa about having sex with another girl before Lily, but she didn't tell her it was Ashley Tisdale, of course. "So what are you going to do, Miley?" asked Lisa.

"If creativity, tearful compliments, and loving flashbacks won't work," stated Miley as she turned the combination lock of her locker. "I'll just have to apologize the old fashioned way." Miley opened her locker and pulled out a bouquet of 15 roses.

"You're going to give her those?" asked Lisa. Miley nodded sadly. Lisa examined the roses. "You do know those roses have thorns?" Lisa pointed out.

Miley examined the roses herself, and made an angry expression. "Sweet niblets!" Miley exclaimed.

"How much did those cost you?" asked Lisa.

"About 49 bucks" said Miley.

There was a brief pause. "I could front you some money to replace them" said Lisa with an eager frown.

"AWWWW!" said Miley. "Thank you, Lisa!"

With that, Miley and Lisa hugged, with the flowers still in hand. "Ow!" Lisa exclaimed when Miley accidentally pricked her with the rose's thorns.

"Oh yeah," said Miley in an aggressive voice. "These are definitely goin' in the trash!" Miley threw the flowers into a nearby trash can. "But it's no big deal, Lisa," stated Miley. "I've got plenty of-...how much you got?" said Miley keeping her bank account secret.

"About...30 bucks" said Lisa pulling out her wallet. "I was going to spend it on a shirt, buuuut your relationship with Lily is more important." Lisa took out her wallet, took the cash out, and started to hand it to Miley. "This is what I like to call 'love money'" said Lisa in a blissful voice.

"AWWWWWWWWW!" said Miley taking the money. "That's so sweet!" There was a brief pause. A thought occurred to Miley as her smile faded. "You know, Lisa," stated Miley. "Now that you mention it, there was this one time when I offered Lily 'love money', but she was too stubborn to take it."

"Oh no," said Lisa. "If she wouldn't even take that, how is she going to accept flowers?"

Miley frowned and partially hung her head. "I don't know Lisa," said Miley. "But I have to try."

That night, Hannah Montana was at another party, this time without Lola or Mike. After kissing a couple of guys and girls, Hannah was talking to another celebrity: Tiffany Thornton. "So, Tiffany," said Hannah. "How does it feel working with Doug Brochu and Brandon Smith?"

"They're really fun guys," said Tiffany. "I make out with them all the time."

Hannah was surprised! "Woooooo!" cheered Hannah. "Really? It doesn't bother you that they're so ugly?"

"Hey," said Tiffany with a smile. "My policy is, 'no matter what you look like, if you have a dic, I want to do you!'"

Hannah laughed. "Well," said Hannah. "Sadly, I don't have a dic, so I guess that excludes me."

"Oh, I don't know about _that" _flirted Tiffany.

Hannah laughed. Then, suddenly, Hannah saw something interesting, behind Tiffany, across the room. She saw, none other than...EVERLIFE! Amber, Sara, and Julia were all there, talking to a couple of guys! Hannah was a big fan of them, but what she was really thinking about was the fact that _Lily _was a big fan of them! Five months ago, on the same night where Hannah had sex with Jake Ryan and Ashley Tisdale, she had lied to Lola that Everlife was going to be at the party, as a cover up about Traci Vanhorn being there. Hannah remembered Lola's exact words: "I can't believe I'm going to meet Everlife! I totally want to ask them about their lyrics! I dance to their music in my underwear! Yeeeeeeeep!" Hannah suddenly got an idea. If she met Everlife at that exact moment, maybe she could introduce them to Lola Luftnangle! Then maybe Lily would forgive her! "Everlife!" whispered Hannah under her breath. Hannah directed her attention back to Tiffany. "Tiffany," said Hannah. "There's something I really got to do."

"Oh really?" said Tiffany hopefully. With that, Tiffany closed her eyes and puckered up her lips. At the same time, Hannah left her, and Tiffany ended up kissing nothing but air. Tiffany opened her eyes and saw that Hannah was gone. She looked around the room, and saw Hannah talking to Everlife. Tiffany was disgusted. "What does Everlife have that I don't?" complained Tiffany. "Hmmm, maybe I should join a girl band..."

Meanwhile, Hannah was talking to Everlife. "It is such an honer to meet you, Hannah!" said Amber.

"Your alternative pop music is just the bomb!" said Sara.

"And we _love _your reality show!" said Julia.

"Uh, yeah, right back atcha', anyway..." said Hannah frantically. "Amber, Sara, Julia, as much fun as I'm having at this party, I regret to inform you, that Lola Luftnangle is very upset at me right now."

"Oohhhh..." sighed Everlife sadly. "Why? What did you do?" asked Amber.

"I thought you two loved each other" said Sara.

"We do...suposedly..." said Hannah. "And I'm hoping she still does."

"Awwwwww..." said Everlife.

"Like me," said Hannah. "Lola is a huge fan of you guys. So, I thought maybe, if you could..._meet _her, maybe then she might forgive me."

"Of course we'll meet her, Hannah," said Amber tenderly as she put her hands on Hannah's shoulders. "_Anything _to keep you and Lola from breaking up!"

Julia ran her fingers through Hannah's hair. "You and her are America's sexiest girl/girl duo" said Julia. "Right next to Aly and AJ."

"We love you, Hannah" said Sara. With that, all three of Everlife gave Hannah a group hug.

"And Hannah," said Amber when the group hug ended. "There's something I've always wanted to do..."

Hannah smiled provocatively. "What's that?" asked Hannah. There was a brief pause, then Amber _kissed _Hannah! After that, Sara squeezed Hannah's boobs! Hannah was really giggling now. Then, Julia actually stuck her hand down Hannah's pants, and fondled her pussy! Hannah groaned with pleasure. "OK, guys!" laughed Hananh. "Save some for Lola!"

The next day, Miley was at school in the halls. She walked up to Lily, who was digging through her locker. "LILY!" called Miley exitedly. "You're not going to believe this! I met Everlife!" said Miley followed by a high pitched scream of joy.

Lily turned around and gave Miley a mean look. "Whoopty do" said Lily sarcastically. Lily shut her locker and started walking away.

Miley followed Lily. "They love my music, and they love what we do on 'Hannah Montana—Livin' the Rockstar Life'!" said Miley in the same voice as she followed Lily. "They said we're the sexiest girl/girl duo in America! (right next to Aly and AJ) Anyway, I know you've always loved them, so I made some plans for you to meet them!"

Lily stopped walking and turned around. "Oh please, Miley!" said Lily angrily. "You already lied to me about that once! How dumb do you think I am?"

Lily started walking again and Miley followed her. "But I really did meet Everlife!" said Miley concerned. "They gave me a group hug! Amber kissed me! Sara squeezed my boobs! And Julia even slid her hand down my pants and fondled my pussy! YOU'VE GOT TO BELIEVE ME!" Just as Lily stopped walking, three guys started gawking at Miley. Miley looked at the guys. "Why don't you three just mind your own beeswax? SCATTER!" said Miley frantically. With that, the guys ran away in different directions.

"You kept your identity secret from me," said Lily. "You lied to me about a party being canceled, you lied about having nothing to do with an attempt to help me raise money, you lied to me about Everlife, and you lied to me about what happened at that party! When are all these lies and secrets going to stop?"

Lily started walking again, and Miley followed her. "Lily," said Miley emotionally. "You're starting to scare me! You've never been mad at me this long before! Are you never going to date me or hang out with me again? I _love_ you and I _miss_ you! I enjoy being with Oliver, but I haven't been in bed with a girl in what seems like forever!"

Lily stopped walking, turned around, and said "Why don't you just sleep with Ashley Tisdale?" With that, Lily walked away. This time, Miley didn't follow her. Whoa, that last line really hurt. Now Lily was starting to get smart with her. On top of that, what really hurt Miley was Lily really thinking Miley loved Ashley Tisdale more than her. Among all of the emotion, Miley never got a chance to actually reason with Lily about this. It was awfully hard to get her to listen long enough. She was lucky Lily was even speaking to her! Her plan with introducing Lily to Everlife had not worked. So, Miley supposed she could just give her those replacement flowers she bought. Part of Miley believed Lily still had feelings for her. After the way she acted on the beach when Miley tried to reach her through pleasant memories. Lily seemed emotional at first. Miley swore, Lily was...reaching out her hand as if she were trying to reach for Miley's love! The very thought of that brought tears to Miley's eyes. Lily also seemed squeamish about saying "I never want to see you again." She choked on those words, and so did Miley. She _had _to still love Miley! She just _had _to!

Later that day, Lily and Joanie were in the park, sitting at a picnic table. They were sitting on the same side of the table, very close to each other. "You're pretty heart broken, aren't you, T-Cot?" said Joanie. "I've never seen you this upset. You're even more upset than the time I put whipped cream in your shoes."

Lily made a shocked, offended expression. "That was _you?"_ Lily exclaimed. Joanie frowned and gestured "I'm sorry" in sign language. Lily's expression went back to sad. "You know, Joanie," said Lily. "I shared some really good times with Miley since we became a couple, and I shared a lot of really good times when we were just friends too. But now that I know what she did, it's like she never loved me to begin with. So now it's like those times never happened."

There was a brief pause. "I don't know everything about same sex couples..." said Joanie. "Or _girls, _for that matter...but off hand, I'd say Miley's being pretty shallow. Is she deciding how she feels about you based on how close she is to you or how big your boobs are?" Lily made a sad, suffocating expression as she pretended to squeeze boobs. "What are you doing?" asked Joanie skeptically.

Lily put her hands down. "Sorry, I was...thinking about Miley" said Lily.

There was another pause. Lily was now friends with Joanie, but Lily wasn't sure if someone she used to be enemies with, and on top of that, a hardcore tomboy, was the best source of comfort. "I suppose I have an idea of how you feel," said Joanie. "Before we were friends, I dated this one guy, and, oh god, was that a hideous breakup!"

"What happened?" asked Lily. "Did he cheat on you?"

"Um, no," said Joanie. "Actually, _I _cheated on _him."_ Lily looked at Joanie disgustedly like she thought she was insane. "Oh-kay, bad example!" said Joanie. There was a brief pause. "But..." said Joanie. "There was this other guy I dated who dumped me because he decided he liked this other girl better. I asked him why, and, he said 'I just do!' So, he never gave me a straight answer. Then the next thing I know, he's rubbing that one girl's feet on the beach. So...I'm guessing he thought that girl had sexier feet than me, and on top of that, a tan. I'm telling ya', he was shallow!"

"Well..." said Lily still looking sad. "If it helps, _I _think you have sexy feet."

Joanie giggled. "Why thank you, Lily!" said Joanie. Joanie rubbed Lily's head. Lily forced a little laughter. "I don't know exactly what Miley thinks," said Joanie. "But despite you being a tomboy, I think you're very good at being girly too."

Lily sighed blissfully. "You have your moments too, sweetie-...uh, I mean, Joanie" said Lily.

"Awwwww!" said Joanie. "Am I really a sweetie?"

"Yeah," said Lily. "You always know the exact right moments to hug me."

"And you're really fun to horseplay with" said Joanie.

"Hoh!" said Lily blissfully. "Isn't it wonderful how we like each other for who we are?"

"That..." said Joanie quietly. "And maybe more." With that, Joanie and Lily's heads started to come closer and closer together. As a very shocking moment for Lily, she suddenly found herself _KISSING JOANIE!_ This was unbelievable! Not only was she kissing another girl, but it was the girl who picked on her for years! Lily had tried to convince Joanie that she wasn't straight a while back (which ultimately failed), but now, she was proving Lily to be right! Lily happily embraced Joanie as they both started making out. This went on for about two minutes. Was it possible that Lily had actually found a new love? Already? Considering she was a lesbian, it was just too good to be true! It's possible Joanie was just kissing her "to make her feel better", but Lily didn't care!

Suddenly, Miley arrived in the park. She was carrying a bouquet of roses. She had a look of dismay when she saw Lily kissing Joanie. Their last kiss parted, and they both looked at Miley. In a dramatic moment, Miley made a tearful expression, threw the roses in the grass, and walked away. Lily watched Miley with a half shocked, half sad expression. She also looked down at the roses in the grass with the same expression.

Miley, Lily, and Oliver were at school, in science class. The teacher, Mrs. Oblimeyer, had instructed the class to get into groups of four to go into the lab, each of which would be at a separate counter. Oliver's immediate decision was to pair up with with Miley and Lily, but for once, some other people were actually nice to Oliver, and offered to let him into their group. Two of those people were guys, and Oliver had no guy friends, so he couldn't pass up an opportunity like this. Miley ended up with Becka Weller, and, unfortunately, the ugliest, smelliest guy in the school, Drew Oman. But they were still short one person. Before they knew it, Mrs. Oblimeyer had escorted Lily over to their group, and said "Lily is the only person left without a group. But luckily, I know you, Miley, are very close with her. So, pairing you up with her should be easy as pie!"

"Oh yeah," said Lily sarcastically after Mrs. Oblimeyer left. "Easy as pie!"

A moment later, everyone was in the science lab. Each lab counter had two sinks, with hoses attatched to the nozzles, and a computer monitor on an upper shelf, with the keyboard and mouse just below. The class was using the computers to look up the names of the many different stars in outer space. Over at Miley and Lily's table, Becka and Miley were trying to help Drew do the assignment, for Drew had a learning disability. "OK," said Becka. "Just move the mouse over to this star right here." Drew did as he was told. "Now, that's called 'Red Supergiant'" said Becka. "So write it down." All four people took some notes.

"Now go to this one" said Miley pointing at the screen. Drew did as he was told. "And that's called 'Green Minornova'" said Miley. "Write that down as well." All four people wrote another note. "See, Drew?" said Miley assertively. "This isn't so hard after all!"

"That's a matter of opinion" said Lily in a snotty tone.

"Oh, come on, Lily!" said Miley. "This isn't about you and me! This is about doing the assignment and helping a disabled person."

"Nothing you say is ever about us!" snapped Lily. "You're just using that to hide your faults!"

"Well, if having a broken heart is a fault, then yeah, I guess I do have faults" said Miley sensitively.

Lily made a sensitive expression briefly, but then it changed back. "No!" said Lily. "You are not going to guilt me into this! You started this! All because you like another girl better than me!"

Well, at least Lily didn't use "the other girl's" name in front of Becka and Drew. Miley was at least grateful Lily was still keeping her secret. "The key word there is 'like'" said Miley. "I _liked _her. I _love _you!"

"OK, are we talking about love or _lust?" _said Lily. "I'll bet you just thought she was hotter than me!"

"_Lily," _said Miley emotionally. "Whatever I did with one girl or another, I have shared so much more with you than I have with any other girl!

"Oh yeah?" challenged Lily. "Share this: I have to get to know you and do things with you for _five_ _years_ to get you to hook up with me, and all that other girl has to do is introduce herself to you? That's bullshit!

Miley looked hurt. "Lily..." said Miley in a sad puppy voice. "I've never heard you swear at me like that before."

"Uh, girls," said Becka butting in nervously. "Why don't we just get back to the assignment? Heh heh..."

Miley looked at Becka, but Lily ignored her. "You know what?" said Lily. "I never really liked your body very much anyway."

Miley's sad expression suddenly turned offended. _"What _did you say?" said Miley defensively.

"The truth is," stated Lily. "I would've traded you for Joanie."

Miley's sadness suddenly turned into anger. "Hold the phone, skater girl!" said Miley. "You having sex with me was the reason you decided to become a lesbian in the first place!"

"Eh...I was thinking about somebody else at the time" said Lily.

Miley gasped offendedly. "Well maybe _I _don't like _your _body very much!" said Miley.

"Said the girl who made the first move!" Lily pointed out. Great, now Miley sounded like an idiot. "Admit it, Miley," said Lily. "You're just as much of a lesbian as I am!"

"_Maybe _I was just frustrated that I didn't have a boyfriend!" said Miley.

Suddenly, Amber and Ashley came from another table, laughing their asses off. "Oooooo! Looks like we got a lesbian cat fight in progress!" laughed Ashley.

"Yeah!" said Amber. "You're like itchy and scratchy with bras and panties!" Amber and Ashley paused to laugh.

"What's the matter?" dissed Ashley. "Did one of you flush the other's wedding ring down the toilet?" Ashley and Amber paused to laugh.

"Or," said Amber. "Does one of you fart in bed?" Amber and Ashley paused to laugh.

"Or, or," said Ashley. "Does one of you lick the other the wrong way?" Ashley and Amber laughed harder.

"Ooooooo!" Amber exclaimed. "That's a good one, Ashley!" Amber gave Ashley a high five, then upon the high five, Amber pulled down Ashley's hand and said sternly "You know I can't top that!" There was a slight pause, then Amber and Ashley went back to laughing. They stopped briefly, said "Oooooo!", then pressed their index fingers together and made a sizzling noise.

"You two stay out of this!" yelled Lily.

"Yeah!" yelled Miley. "Why don't you two just mind your own-..."

"Mind your own damn busniess!" said Lily and Miley at the same time. Miley and Lily looked at each other. "I said it first! Ha!" said Miley.

"You're ugly! Ha!" said Lily.

"Hey," said Amber. "When's the part where you start slapping each other, hair pulling, and ripping each other's clothes off?" Amber and Ashley laughed.

"You bitches better back off or we're going to kiss you!" said Lily followed by puckering up her lips and making kissy noises. Miley did the same.

"EWWWWWW!" Amber and Ashley exclaimed as they went back to their group.

Miley and Lily looked at each other. "Let's see now, where were we?" said Miley in a normal voice. "Oh yeah! Maybe I like being with Oliver better than you!" said Miley picking up where the argument left off.

"Oh, you're just jealous because Oliver spanked me first!" said Lily.

"I _let _him do you first!" Miley pointed out. "And, Lily, how can you limit yourself to just girls? It's pathetic!"

"Not as pathetic as _you _are in gym class!" said Lily.

"Oh, _don't make me use this!"_ threatened Miley. She had picked up the hose attached to the sink nozzle and pointed it right at Lily!

Lily picked up the hose on the other sink and pointed it at Miley! "I've got a weapon too, sweetcakes!" threatened Lily. With that, Miley and Lily both turned on their sinks, and squirted each other with water that was just gushing out! Oliver was watching from across the room, and he was shocked! Miley and Lily squirted each other for a while as they both groveled from it, making them all soggy. Eventually, the hoses became too powerful for them to hold onto, and they ended up squirting themselves, which ultimately caused them to fall on the floor! The hoses went wild, and then they started squirting Becka and Drew! Becka and Drew screamed as they got squirted. Becka slipped and fell on her butt, her sandals came off, and she screamed and kicked her feet as the hose continued to squirt her. Oliver just couldn't stand and watch this any more. He quickly ran over to the counter and shut off the sinks.

Among all the chaos, Mrs. Obimeyer finally noticed what was going on and quickly walked over to the vicinity. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" she yelled.

"Miley and Lily squirted each other with the hoses!" said Becka in a worried tone. "And in the process, they got Drew and I wet too!"

"Yeah," said Drew confidently. "And it feels good to for once not be the only one who's embarassed!"

Oliver gave Drew the thumbs up. "You the man, Drew," said Oliver with forced enthusiasm. "You the man." Drew smiled.

Mrs. Oblimeyer looked at Miley and Lily. "I thought I specifically said 'NO HORSEPLAY IN THE LAB!'" said Mrs. Oblimeyer.

"We weren't horseplaying," said Miley. "We were...fighting!"

"I don't care what you were doing!" said Mrs. Oblimeyer. "You were abusing the lab equipment! Both of you! Office! NOW!"

Miley and Lily made sad expressions as emotion started to build in the room, they slowly got up from the water puddles they were sitting in, left the room, and headed towards the assistant principal's office. Oliver watched them sadly as they left the lab.

Miley and Lily had gone to Mr. Shaumberg's office, the assistant principal, who had yelled at them for about ten minutes, and he had written them referrals, sentencing them to three days of in school suspension. This was a tragedy. Miley and Lily had never gotten suspended in their lives! They had gotten a few detentions, for insulting students who gave a hard time, and back talking at teachers when clearly they meant no harm. They were also accused of a few things they didn't do. But this was far by the biggest punishment they had ever gotten. All because they were having conflict with their relationship. What would their parents say?

After that, for the rest of the day, they were in detention hall. They had never been there before. They had served all their detentions in their home rooms back in middle school. This was sad. Miley had had a really good long term relationship with Lily, they had shared such good times together, they were friends, then they were girlfriends, then they were a threesome with Oliver, then they had a really complicated relationship. Miley never thought it would come to this. As Miley sat in detention hall, still damp from the hoses, she found herself having flashbacks in her mind of all the times she had shared with Lily. As she had them, she imagined her Hannah Montana song "Every Part of Me" playing. She thought of the time Lily sneaked into her dressing room and found out she was Hannah Montana. She thought of the time Lily assumed the identity of Lola Luftnangle, to be one of Hannah's chaperones. The time Lola ended up onstage with her as Lola nervously stared at the crowd. The time she and Lily got poison oak on a camping trip with their class and embarrassed themselves on the Taylor Kingsford show. Miley thought of when she, as Hannah, and Lily, as Lola, tried to give Sara some charity money, got chased by some crazed fans, and they were forced to jump into a ball bin to hide. One week in October, Miley's look alike cousin, Luann, had come to visit her, and totally messed with Miley. She stole Hannah's identity at a party, and Lola, and Oliver (who was wearing a Halloween costume), stopped Luann. Miley and Lily were once picked on by a bully who was even worse than Amber and Ashley. Her nick name was "The Cracker." One time, Miley and Lily tried to stand up to her, and The Cracker actually tied their hair together! Before Miley had tried to date Jake Ryan, Oliver accidentally gave Jake a video tape that had Miley telling how she felt about him on it! Miley had Lily's help to get the tape back. They dressed like burglars together and invaded their school at night. Miley once wrote a song as a little study technique for school, and she and Lily ended up singing and dancing it out in front of their class. Miley and Lily met "The Rock" together. Not as Hannah and Lola, but as Miley and Lily! Miley thought about the secret handshake she used to share with Lily. One time, Miley had to choose between Lily and Oliver, and Lily tried to win her by baking her a cake with hearts on it. She thought of the time she, as Hannah, and Lily, as Lola, tried to stop Jake Ryan and Traci Vanhorn from getting married. Miley remembered just five months ago when she layed on top of Lily and kissed her. She thought of when Lily stuck her bare foot in Miley's face, when they played with each other's boobs, and licked each other's pussies. Miley held hands with Lily in public, made out with her in a hot tub, they gave each other love gifts, kissed in movie theaters, and once shared an ice cream cone.

Miley couldn't bare to imagine her life without Lily. It would never be the same. Miley imagined her song:

_Maybe I will never be_

_Who I was before_

_Maybe I don't even know her anymore_

_Maybe how I am today _

_'Ain't so far from yesterday_

_Can I find a way to be_

_Every part of me_

After the flashbacks ended, Miley found herself looking down at the top of the desk she was sitting in. It had graffiti written all over it. There was a message that said "Mr. Schaumberg sucks dic!" Another message was next to a picture of a plant that said "We smoke pot." Another message said "Go fuck your dog, bitch!" There was a picture of a woman's boobs, which Miley actually kind of liked. There was another picture of two guys having anal sex, with the names "Billy Newman" and "Kevin Dorms" written next to them. Boy, was Miley glad she didn't know those people!

Suddenly, Miley caught the attention of a girl sitting behind her in detention. "Hey," said the girl. "Aren't you Jake Ryan's ex girlfriend?"

Miley turned around and suddenly smiled. "Guilty as charged!" said Miley in a cocky voice as she flipped her hair.

"I don't know what he sees in you," said the girl. "You're ugly!"

Miley was offended! "All right you smoker without a hall pass!" confronted Miley. "Why don't you just-..." Before Miley could finish her sentence, the girl spit some gum right in her face! Miley was stunned at first, then groveled "EW! Ew ew ew ew ew!" Miley brushed the gum off her face as the girl laughed.

"You're pathetic!" said the girl. "Go have incest with your dad!"

Miley turned back around and made a disgusted, frightened face. "Sweet niblets" said Miley in a quiet, squeaky voice.

Lily witnessed the whole thing, and despite her being mad at Miley, now she was mad at that girl! Lily was ready to get up and punch that girl in the face! Oh sure, _Lily _called Miley ugly just 20 minutes ago, and she also squirted her with a powerful hose, but that was different. Lily used to _love _Miley! _No one torments Miley but me! _Lily thought. But Lily didn't get up and punch the girl, of course. Lily didn't have enough chutzpah. Besides, why get into more trouble than she already was? Lily had never punched anyone in her life (not maliciously, at least), but Lily kind of felt she had a tomboy image to protect. Lily was sitting in front of a big, fat guy, whose face seamed to fit the stereotype of an underachiever. Lily decided maybe if _she _tried to look tough, she would blend in. Lily turned around and faced the fat guy behind her. "So, what are you in here for?" said Lily in the toughest voice she could make.

The guy looked at Lily. "I stole a bunch of stuff off Mr. Schaumberg's desk!" said the guy in a gruff voice.

"Yeeeeeeep!" panicked Lily in fear. With that, Lily scooted her desk further away from the guy. DAMN! Talk about grand theft! He stole things off the assistant principal's desk? That was the equivalent of a criminal stealing a police car! DAMN! These people were _scary!_ This place was for trouble makers! Dear god, what did Miley and Lily do to deserve this? This was a very uncomfortable environment, and Miley and Lily couldn't believe two, sweet, sensitive girls like them ended up here.

After about five more minutes, Mr. Schaumberg came into the room. Mr. Schaumberg looked at the girl sitting behind Miley. "Candice..." said Mr. Schaumberg as he gestured with his index finger for her to come with him. Candice and Mr. Schaumberg left the room.

Meanwhile, in Miss Kunckle's class, Oliver was having trouble concentrating on his work. He couldn't stop thinking about the science lab disaster. Oliver couldn't believe what Miley and Lily did, and to _each other!_ Now, they were in big trouble. His girlfriends were still going at it (negatively), and since they were in detention hall, there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. Oliver really wanted to help them work it out, but he couldn't. To do that, he would have to get detention himself.

Wait a minute! Oliver suddenly got an idea! He tore a sheet of paper out of his notebook and crumpled it up. Oliver looked at Miss Kunckle. "Hey, Miss Kunckle!" called Oliver.

Mis Kunkle looked up at Oliver. Oliver smiled, and threw the paper right at her! It hit Miss Kunckle right in the face. Miss Kunckle gasped, then made an angry face. "_Oliver!" _she yelled.

"Oops!" said Oliver as he shrugged with a sarcastic smile.

Back in detention hall, the other assistant principal, Mr. Donnel, came into the room and sat at the teacher's desk. Miley was actually kind of relieved that he came in. That way, maybe the fat guy wouldn't try to pull anything on them.

Boy, was Miley wrong. Lily felt something hit the back of her head. She made a startled squeak. Lily looked behind her. The fat guy was sticking his tongue out at Lily vexatiously. Lily made a frightened face, then turned back around. Lily clearly did not want to mess with this guy. Lily knew what hit her. The fat guy obviously threw something at her. She didn't know what, but Lily knew he threw something. The guy threw something again, and Lily squeaked. The guy threw something again, and Lily squeaked. Mr. Donnel looked up at Lily. "Do you have the hiccups or are you just sick of being here?" asked Mr. Donnel.

Lily looked back at the fat guy. They guy glared and growled at her. Lily faced Mr. Donnel again. "Uh...it's a little of both, actually" said Lily nervously. Mr. Donnel went back to his work. Two more minutes passed. The guy threw something at Lily, and Lily squeaked again. Miley glared at the guy from behind and made a fist. _How dare you harass my Lily? _Miley thought. Five more mintues passed, and Lily wasn't sure if the fat guy was going to continue throwing crap at her.

Suddenly, the guy threw something at Lily, and it was right when Mr. Donnel looked up! "John!" yelled Mr. Donnel. "I saw that! Come inta' mah' office, right now!" With that, Mr. Donnel escorted John out of detention hall. Miley and Lily were the only two people left in the room.

"Well," said Miley. "I guess that takes care of them."

"Yeah," said Lily. "Good riddance!"

Suddenly, Oliver came into the room! "_Oliver?" _said Miley surprised. "What are you doing in here? What did _you _do?"

"I threw a piece of paper at Miss Kunckle" said Oliver.

"Why the hell did you do that?" asked Lily.

"Because I was out there, you two are in here, and I know that when you get home, you're both going to be grounded" said Oliver. "It was the only way I could talk to you."

"So..." said Lily. "You just sacrificed yourself? That's crazy!"

"Lily, bring your desk over here" said Oliver. Lily scooted her desk right next to Miley's. There was a brief pause. "All right," said Oliver. "I don't know if you were meant to be a couple, but I do know you were meant to be in each other's lives. You two have been going at it for five days, and frankly, I'm sick of being caught in the middle."

"Well don't look at me!" said Miley in a soft, sensitive voice. "Lily's the drama queen! I've just been begging for forgiveness!"

Lily looked at Miley. "Yeah, until you yelled at me and squirted me with a hose!" snapped Lily.

"See?" said Oliver. "That's exactly what I'm talking about!" There was a brief pause. "This whole thing started when Lily found out Miley lied to her five months ago," said Oliver. "And then Lily got this crazy idea that Miley loved Ashley Tisdale more than her." Oliver turned to Lily. He shifted his voice into a soft, sensitive tone. "Lily," stated Oliver. "You've known Miley since long before you were a couple. Long before you even knew she was Hannah Montana. You've shared so many good times together, both friendship and love. You guys are like _this_." Oliver held up his crossed fingers. "And now," said Oliver. "You're like _this." _Oliver licked the palm of his hand intimately. Miley and Lily knew exactly what he was hinting at. "You've known each other for five years" said Oliver still in a soft, sensitive tone. "Are you seriously going to throw that all away?" Oliver turned to Miley. "Miley," stated Oliver. "You may think Lily doesn't love you anymore, but the last couple of days, every time you get all emotional on her, she..." Oliver demonstrated Lily reaching out with her sensitive expression. "Almost gives in" said Oliver finishing his last sentence. "And if Lily had no love for you anymore," said Oliver. "I think she would've started messing with you by now. She could have told your secret!" Oliver paused. "_But she didn't" _said Oliver. "Doesn't that tell you anything?" Oliver turned back to Lily. "Lily," stated Oliver. "There's something I need to point out. You were just friends with Miley for a long time, and back then...you were straight!" Oliver paused. "Neither of you ever thought you would ever have feelings for the same sex" said Oliver. "It wasn't until Miley had that experience that all that changed."

"Yeah, Lily," said Miley in the same tone as Oliver. "I mean, think about it, if I hadn't have gone out and taken the risk of having sex with Jake Ryan and Ashley Tisdale, I never would've become bisexual, I never would've kissed you on my couch, and we never would've been a couple. It's just like the risk I took with having a secret identity as Hannah Montana, and Oliver as Mike Stan Lee, and you as Lola Luftnangle. If we hadn't all taken those risks, we never would've lived the good life, riding around in limos and meeting famous people. And besides, a lot of people spend a lot of time just playing around before they've found the right person. Then when they do, it's a lot more special! And truth be told, I had a lot more fun having sex with you than Ashley Tisdale."

There was a brief pause. "So what do you say, Lily?" said Oliver. "Can you forgive your girlfriend?"

Lily hesitated with a sad expression. "I don't know..." said Lily. "There's still a part of me that feels extremely hurt."

"OK, Lily," stated Oliver. "You may be still upset, but I have to ask you just one thing." Oliver paused. "Do you still have any feelings for Miley at all?"

Lily made a sad, nervous expression. Lily looked at Miley, who was giving her a sad, scared expression. Lily looked back at Oliver, then said tearfully _"YEEEES IIIIIII DOOOOOOOOOOO!"_ With that, Lily started to cry. She buried herself in Miley's arms. Tearful as well, Miley embraced her, savoring Lily turning to her. Lily continued crying for about 30 seconds.

"See?" said Oliver. "If you still have feelings for her, you should be together!"

Lily continued crying. "I missed you, Miley!" cried Lily.

"I missed you too!" cried Miley.

"Wow," said Oliver. "After just five days?"

Lily turned her head around and looked at Oliver. "It seems like five _years _to me!" cried Lily.

Lily buried her face back in Miley's chest and continued crying. 15 more seconds passed. Lily pulled away from Miley briefly to rub her eyes. As she pulled away, a string of snot got stuck between Lily's nose and Miley's shirt! _"Awwww!"_ cried Miley. _"You got snot on my shirt!"_

"I'm sorry!" cried Lily. Lily buried herself in Miley again and continued crying. She cried for ten more seconds.

"Oh, Lily!" cried Miley. "I'm so sorry! I should never have had sex with Ashley Tisdale! You're my better deal!"

Lily lifted her head up and faced Miley. "No, Miley," said Lily softer, but still tearful. "If I met Ashley Tisdale first, I'd probably do her toooooooo!"

Lily buried herself back in Miley's chest, but Miley lifted Lily's head back up and said "I'll take that as an 'I forgive you'!"

Lily sniffed and nodded, then went back to crying in Miley's embrace. "There!" said Oliver assertively. "See how we're all back together now?" Miley and Lily continued crying. "This is a happy ending!" said Oliver. Miley and Lily continued crying. "Seriously, you can stop crying now" said Oliver. Miley and Lily continued crying. Oliver watched and listened to them, then he was starting to feel emotional himself. "Oh...don't keep crying!" pleaded Oliver half tearful. "Now you're going to make _me _cry too!" With that, Oliver started to cry and joined in on the embrace.

All three of them cried for about one minute. It was the most emotional moment they ever had. Finally, they all calmed down, and partially broke off the embrace, but still had their arms around each other. "Now we all know we were meant to be in each other's lives" said Miley. "Guys...let's make a pact. All three of us...together...forever. Triple kiss?"

"Triple kiss" said Lily and Oliver at the same time. With that, Miley, Lily, and Oliver started triple kissing, all pressing their lips together at once.

Suddenly, Mr. Schaumberg came into the room! "OH MY GOD!" yelled Mr. Schaumberg. "You three! Never in my eight years of being the assistant principal have I seen anything so inappropriate! You think you're in trouble now? Well you each bought yourselves one more day of detention!"

Oh god, now this was really awkward!

**THE END!**

**A/N: And that concludes my Hannah Montana fanfics! I know my stories aren't very popular on this site (mostly because there aren't a lot of smart people out there!), but for those of you who read them all, and the whole thing, I hope you enjoyed them more than my lack of reviews have lead me to believe. I do have some other ideas for Hannah Montana fanfics, but I'm not sure I'll be able to write them. Otherwise, I'm fresh out of ideas. All I have left is my recordings of Hannah Montana episodes and My fantasies about having relationships with Miley Cyrus, Emily Osment, and a number of other Disney stars. Just in case I don't write more, I shall bid a heartfelt goodbye. Anyway, MILEY, LILY, AND OLIVER FOREVER!**

_'Cause yesterday's gone_

_So hard to keep moving on_

_I'm so thankful for the moments_

_So glad I got to know you_

_The times that we had_

_I keep like a photograph_

_I'll hold you in my heart forever_

_I'll always remember you_

_Nah nah nah nah_

_Nah nah nah nah_

_Nah nah nah nah oh_

_I'll always remember_

_You_


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